FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY

"Jason Fillmore ?"  echoes an Angelic voice across the waiting room.   An elderly man stands slowly; steadying himself, then makes his way to the receptionist station.  A beautiful glowing figured turns to face him. "Congratulations for making it to your final destination-eternity.  I am Elizabeth, your guardian Angel."  Mr. Fillmore acknowledges with a small smile.  She slides an overstuffed manilla envelope in front of him, saying:  "I've looked over your file and everything looks great. I just need to get a couple of signatures, and then you'll be done". As he browses the worn folder, he notices a section titled FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY. Anticipating his question, his Angel intervenes saying; " that section is where we track those people who served God's purpose during their life. It's doesn't matter for you, once you've made it this far, you are always welcomed through the Gates."

"well..." The man inquires.  "Did I achieve my purpose in life ?". .   "Did I achieve what God planned for me?". She took his hand and held it warmly as she spoke.  "Many times He tried to guide your path. Many times you questioned your own worthiness.  In a reassuring tone, she continued; "Mr. Fillmore, you led a wonderful life. You may not have fully fulfilled your purpose, but God welcomes you into his Kingdom."

The elderly man looks up his Angel, wondering how he could have misinterpreted so many opportunities; he walks down the long hall directed by a sign displaying the words GATES OF HEAVEN.

I can count on both hands, the number of times as I was praying throughout my life over something really important, that part of my dialogue with God where I remind Him that I will probably miss His answer if He doesn't just lay it out there for me in black and white. I needed him to be direct or I'll probably miss his message. Ultimately asking my own Angle one day " did I fulfill what God had planned for me?".  Beneath it all- although i made it to heaven, I think I would ultimately be a bit disappointed if I hadn't served His purpose in life.

I often wonder what that purpose is, or if I'm even worthy or Holy enough to serve Him. Did I miss the clues along the way?  When I flip up that tab that says FOR OFFICIAL USE ONLY, I'll slap my palm to my forehead and yell "how could I have missed those signs?" I missed the obvious.

I was talking with my children the other day about the apostles.  About how their faith was so strong that when Jesus asked them to follow him, they stopped what they were doing and followed Him. They left their jobs, their homes, their friends, their family - all on a moments notice to follow Him.   I told my kids: "that's true faith".  So, that little discussion got me thinking again about my own path. Is He's not calling me to serve Him because there are others that have sinned less than me? They are the ones He is really interested in. But then I come back to the discussion with my kids about the Apostles and I think of Matthew, the Tax collector. Hated by many, but chosen by Jesus to be His Apostle.  In fact throughout the entire bible, Jesus chose people with less than colorful backgrounds to serve for Him. So there you go. I am not expected to be perfect.

I recognize that God doesn't want perfect people to serve Him. If that were the case, there would be no one out there to serve him. That also means I am in good company because as hard as I try, I screw up a lot. So I guess this means, I'm qualified.  "God, how can I serve You, what is my purpose in life". Have you had those discussions?  What about my purpose ? Well maybe I'm expecting Jesus to walk up to my tax collector table and ask me to follow him.  That's fairly direct and to the point. But more than that, maybe I've come to believe that my purpose in life should be this really powerful dynamic thing that will capture the audience of the entire world. Maybe I watch too many movies. Maybe I think my purpose in life has to be more than just as parent or spouse or Soldier. Those roles are fulfilling but they lack the complexity to be considered as my "purpose" in life compared to what others are doing. But wait a minute. Those are really hard roles to fill. To be a parent is no easy task. Now serve God through that role each and every day.  Being a spouse is certainly not without it's challenges. Just ask my wife what it's like being married to me, she'll confirm that statement. Now serve God through your marriage each and every day.

So , maybe it's time to humble myself and realize that God just wants me to serve His purpose in the roles He's already given me, doing all those things in His name.